Monthly Archives: May 2012

“Give Audrey more kisses.” -Audrey to me  (last night when I got home from Chicago and was snuggling her extra long before bed)

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mother’s day 2012

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Rainy day.

Today was rainy.  It was fitting.  If it had been a sunny day it would’ve gotten on my nerves.  Two throw ups and a poop in the tub before 10am equal a stay in kind of day.  Rain.  Today.  Perfect match.

By afternoon, life was back tummies were back to normal around here, but the rain was still nice.  What better thing to do when it’s raining than listen to music and do a little dancing “tam-breen” making.  We meant to dance, but the tambourines were a big hit.  For all 3 of us.

Ryan Adams on shuffle is my soundtrack; if I had to have a soundtrack.  He is my longest relationship.  I joke with Mark about it.  If we ever have a boy don’t be shocked people, he may be a Ryan.

Today during nap time I chose productivity over my own napping.  I’m thankful.  A straightened house feels like a good hair cut or dollar you just found in your winter coat.   A complete attitude changer.  An attitude adjustment.

Maybe my father’s “attitude adjustments” from my childhood were his lesson on self-soothing.  This is gonna be a whole conversation with Jana, I can feel it.

Speaking of Jana, sometimes I wish we could record our conversations.  Strictly due to our profound wisdom that surfaces during the hashing and rehashing of life and motherhood.  If only I could remember or write everything I want to down.  Today’s reminder though is for the me when Audrey is my age: encourage and acknowledge.  It goes a long way.  (We should all do a little more, at 30 and 60, let’s be realistic.)

Something I did write down today:  “Dear God, Thank you for my butterfly spoon.  Catch! (as she is making if fly away) Thank you for my macaroni and cheese.  AAAAAmen.” -Audrey   (God doesn’t mind distracted from a 2 year old I’m pretty sure)

Mark took Audrey to Rose’s.  Another thing that goes a long way.  Alone time.  Even if it’s 20 minutes.

A short list of happy things:  a strawberry with the long stem still attached, Audrey telling her friend Virginia that she loves her, the simplicity of age 2, strands of white Christmas lights all year, listening to Audrey talk to my mom on the phone, Collin and Aron Smith,  dreams coming true that are as simple as having my girl beside me drawing while I’m making something or an afternoon where we make tambourines all together, the arrangement of stuff on a coffee table, finding a tiny toy behind the door when I vacuum, the times I feel confident in my parenting, Audrey’s ponytail, the rain sound

In a whole different thought, today was a lose lose.  It has my heart hurting.  My head full.  And my mouth  unable to articulate anything more than that simple expression.  A lose lose.

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a start to being present.

I have been missing.  I hate that.  I don’t have a reason.  So here are a few things from right now and the in-between…

Yesterday I was inspired by a friend of mine and her sweet words written to her daughter at age almost 2.  Sometimes I read blogs and things where these super mamas are documenting and writing letters to their littles and instead of feeling inspired I end up feeling inadequate.  But Caroline’s note to her sweet girl was love love love and inspiration.  So I did one of my own.  (And in non-Bethany style I decided to not care that she wasn’t exactly 2 or at some milestone…why all the pressure.)  Here goes:

You love to dress up.  You love high heels and are a pro at walking in them.  You love the swimming pool.  You eat “den-na” for every meal.  You love “moo-sic.”  You love dancing.  You have rhythm.  You say hey to everyone that walks or runs by our house.  You love your instruments.  You love tv.  You love to hide.  You sing (abc’s and twinkle twinkle the most)  You have a ponytail.  You talk about height and size.  You are busy.  You love.  You tell people you “lub” them and us the things you love.  You answer “sure, okay.”  You give lots of hugs and kisses.  You are talkative.  You love to read books.  You sleep good.  You relate colors to things (red like Elmo, purple like Daisy.)  You are particular about where you put things.  You favorite doll is the big big Strawberry Shortcake Georgie gave you.  You like sounds.  You like to draw and “make something.”  You love to feed Mr. Turtle.  You love to water plants.  You laugh out loud watching tv.  You are funny.  You say you miss people when they aren’t around.  You are sensitive.  You are a good listener.  You are our weatherman.  You are getting all 4 2-year molars.  You love to eat.  You love “berries” -grapes.  You pick purple.  You say “don’t get me.”  You feel better if we “kiss it” when you get a boo boo.  You like stickers.  You don’t suck your fingers quite as much lately.  You love your milk.  You want to use scissors.  You have the best smile.  You love your friends.

I started reading a book the other day.  It is the first book I’ve read in forever.  I’ve missed that.  And it’s a underline, dog ear the pages kinda book.  “Tonight, I feel like my whole body is made out of memories.  I’m a mix tape, a cassette that’s been rewound so many times you can hear the fingerprints smudged on the tape.” -love is a mix tape, by Rob Sheffield

Hill on the slide solution.  Plastic.  And I found somewhere to order some.  This may take the fun in our life to a whole new level.  I am determined to make this slide a reality.  And big enough for adult hineys.

Music that is good and that I know because of Mark.  Give it a listen.  The Lumineers and Matrimony.

Audrey is so much fun right now.  I was telling my mom the other day that I’m not ready for her to go to bed at night because I haven’t gotten enough yet.  She’s a party I don’t want to end.

We have like 9000 projects in the works around here.  (Maybe that is why I’ve been missing actually.)  Something has to get done though.  The in between on everything makes me crazy.  To do (this weekend?) finish guest bath.  That means paint it white, put molding back up, and get a new toilet.  Hang new kitchen light.  Hooks need to be hung all over…dress up hooks for A’s room, bathroom, and by the door.  Touch up fence paint.  Plant the rest of the plants.  Build raised bed.  Switch out to summer clothes in my closet.  Oh my, the list makes me realize why I feel crazy.   Then I add things like a slide on the hill and a storage building to top off the madness.  God help my hubby.  In bed last night, he said in response to some idea I had, “Does it ever stop?” Meaning my brain and all its thinking.  The answer, I wish.

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