“finding our new normal”

some thoughts written last night.  well early today actually, but everything before the sun comes up to me is considered last night:

it is 4am.  i have gotten more sleep tonight than any night since we had audrey.  maybe even before that with the whole not sleeping pregnant thing.  in fact right now i can’t go back to sleep just yet.  am i counting on this as our new normal?  no way, but tonight was a breakthrough.  (these breakthroughs are temporary genius moments of things that happen to work.  and calling them breakthrough isn’t over exaggerating because any thing that works is life altering while you are trying to figure out life as it is now.  so a breakthrough happened even if it was just for that one moment.)

tonight’s was swaddling audrey to sleep for the night.  the past several nights have been unsettled for her.  she was fussy and crying or either sleeping but grunting and fighting it.  unsettled for her equals tough for me.  last night i’m pretty sure i saw every hour past 10.  and as strong as the instinctive live on no sleep super power is for moms, i don’t think that’s something that you can keep up.  but tonight has saved me!  tonight she’s made some i’m hungry little noises and i get her up, she nurses good, we change a diaper, swaddle back up and SHE FALLS BACK TO SLEEP!  it’s good stuff.  i feel rested.  but even so i am going back to sleep now.  4:26am

things i love:  audrey’s face after eating.  full cheeks and closed lips.  i can picture her in a few years with that same face…at school with cheeks poked out saving a mouthful of water at the fountain.  crazy what becomes so cute when it’s your child.  (don’t let me become that mom..haha)

a little photo from the wee morning hours.  i couldn’t resist getting a quick snap of our little cocoon baby.

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